giving the tree some roots



my zander



does anybody remember exchange city in kansas city?  when i was in fifth grade, we got to go to exchange city, which was a miniture city that i remember to be very cool.  as i remember it, this place was gigantic.  it had a city hall, restaurants, a bank, jewelry shop, & plenty of businesses.  we spent weeks in school preparing for exchange city - we even got to have checking accounts with real checks!  it was so much fun, and it was a huge deal because we only got to go in fifth grade.  we applied for jobs & we were elected for certain positions.  i was hired as a newspaper reporter (which oddly enough was my first major in college).  we worked all day for a paycheck, and we were able to shop and spend on our breaks.  it was so much fun!!  i remember buying jewelry and coming home with a bunch of treasures.

here's zander buying my ice cream

nowadays, our school disctrict goes to the school of economics.  for the kids, it's

zander spending some of his money

 the highlight of the year, and they get to go every year.  it's a similar concept, but i just don't think it's nearly as cool as exchange city.  it could be my adult eyes deceiving me, but it's a much smaller scale than exchange city was.  the kids love it though.  there is still a town with shops, but everybody works in the shops.  when i volunteered last year with the third graders, we had 3 restaurants with hot dogs, ice cream, pudding, and pizza.  there were also shops selling jewelry (although at SOE it was plastic beads, and i'm quite positive at exchange city we were using real emeralds and rubies), candy (the homemade pixie stick was a favorite - those lucky teachers), and stationery.  there is also a bank at SOE, and the kids are able to bank their money

every year and earn interest, which i think is a great idea.

all the kindergarteners at school of economics

today, i volunteered to help with zander's kindergarten trip to SOE.  i am so glad i did. i was able to zander in a completely different light.  zander is the child i struggle with - he is very stubborn like me, and he never gives.  it's part of his charm, but it also makes life difficult at times.  our field trip t

oday showed me a side of zander i've never seen before.  he was calm and cooperative and sweet-natured.  he walked in with his friends and followed all the directions to hang up his coat and sit with his class.  i did distract him a bit by kissing his cheek as he walked by.  he sat quietly with his class and listened intently.  i was shocked.  this is the exact opposite of the zander i know and love! 

one of zander's prized masks

i was assigned to help with the mask making shop, which apparently was a hot shop in the world of SOE.  we had a line all afternoon, and the third person in the line was my zander.  he was just so cute.  we made his mask, and off he went to buy more treasures.  about 10 minutes later, he reappeared to make another mask.  i loved that my baby wanted to be with me.  then, he said, "come on mommy.  i'm treating you to ice cream."  it was my favorite moment of the entire day.  he wanted to spend his money on ice cream for me.  he didn't get any more himself - just me.  we sat together in food court and enjoyed our ice cream.  i asked zander if he was going to buy a raffle ticket, and he said no because he wasn't guaranteed to win anything.  i hope i never forget this afternoon together.  it's rare that i get to spend one on one time with my boys, and these moments with zander were eye-opening.  i saw him as a totally new child.  he was independent and charming - everything i hope he'll grow up to be.  while i wish i could be with my boys every minute of their lives, they deserve to go off on their own and discover themselves.  i suppose i'm giving them the footing for who they'll become, but ultimately, they choose who they will become.  zander showed me today that he is fully capable of growing into exactly the kind of adult i dream he'll be.

crazy love

today is my 12th wedding anniversary.  i'm looking around my life and thinking how much is changed.  john is lying on the couch capturing pokemon characters for the kids' video game.  zaiden is sitting next to john watching his every move.  zander is reluctantly doing his book report, and zane is on the floor playing legos.  it's actually snowing tonight, but on our wedding day, it was super pretty outside.  it rained a bit in the morning, but the sun came out for a perfect day. 

john and i love to tell the story of how we met because our stories differ slightly.  the only part we agree on is that we met at the Blue Note in columbia, mo and that john was wearing a light blue shirt.  if you ask john, he'll tell you that i was eyeing him all night and couldn't wait to get him on the dancefloor.  then he claims i lured him in by unbuttoning his shirt.  i can assure you that is not what happened.  the real story is that i was dragged to the blue note by my best friend christine, and i was just hanging in the corner of the place with my friend jeremy.  jeremy, it should be noted, looks like a bouncer, so i figured i'd have a quiet night with him.  john must not have noticed jeremy because he approached me carrying not just a plastic cup of beer, but an entire pitcher.  apparently, he couldn't be bothered to pour the beer into the glass - it's much easier to drink straight from the pitcher.  so he and i eventually made our way to the dancefloor.  luckily we both had had a few beers by this time, so our lack of rythm wasn't noticed by the other.  however, i do remember buttoning the second button on his shirt so he didn't look like travolta in saturday night fever. 

that first night meeting led to 4 years of dating through college and first jobs.  john finally "engaged me" in august 1998, and i spent the next 7 months planning every detail.  our wedding sure was perfect.  all our friends were there, and all of our family was too.  i remember crying after the wedding was over because it was such a perfect day.  i felt so much love that day, and i hope i never forget that feeling.

i had no idea what to expect after the wedding day.  everybody talks about engagements and weddings, but nobody mentions the day after the wedding.  my world was totally different on march 28, 1999, and i had no idea how to cope.  john and i were 23 and 25 when we got married, and the master plan called for our first child to be born in 5 years.  (zane decided he wanted to surprise us 2 years later instead.)  the master plan really fall apart probably by, oh, april 1.  we learned very quickly that life doesn't follow a master plan.  we've learned all kinds of stuff about each other that we never would have expected.  we've learned to adapt to each other and the crazy stuff that happens every day around here. 

twelve years ago, i tried very hard to be what i thought was a good wife.  i actually spent an entire sunday ironing john's work shirts.  i hung them in the doorway to our bedroom when i was finished.  after about 4 hours of ironing, john walked through the door and knocked them all to the ground.  those shirts lay on the ground for the rest of the day (if not the week), and that was the last time i ironed.  i've tried many many times to cook, and i always end up wounded.  i've learned though that none of that stuff really matters.  my laundry skills stink, my cooking skills stink, my cleaning skills stink (well maybe that's just laziness), but john loves me anyway.  he always says that he sure landed a winner. i never know what makes me a winner since i am so terrible at all that stuff, but whatever it is, i'm glad i found the one person who can see that in me.

the one thing i know i'm good at is loving my family and putting family first.  we've got the greatest 3 boys, and i like to think they chose us.  john and i are layed back about everything, and we just want to hang out with the boys.  in a few months, our 4th little guy is arriving, and i am sure he will fit right in with our little gang here.  well, i sure hope so.  i look at my life, and i couldn't have dreamed it any better.  (well, i wouldn't have minded be able to use a pink bow on my own child every now and then, but i think i'm doing okay with ballcaps and dirt.) 

twelve years ago, i planned every detail of our wedding and our life with precision.  i've learned now that details are worth nothing, and life is much more exciting when we go with it.  as long as we are together, i know we can handle just about anything.  as a little girl, i had a dream of what my life would be like.  the details are a bit different, but the overall picture is exactly what i dreamed of - a husband who loves me, stability, and beautiful kids.  i think i've got it all.

the most valuable treasure

i might be in the minority, but i actually love to go to the dentist.  i love the way my teeth feel after a cleaning.  sometimes i try not to eat for the rest of the day after i get my teeth cleaned.  some might argue that i'm teeth obsessed.  i dream about my teeth quite often - i dream that they have fallen out.  it's horrible.  a nightmare.  as a result of my obsession, i've been taking my kids to the dentist since they were very little.  zane has always done great in the dentist's chair, zander is lucky to be invited back after every visit, and zaiden usually requires a bribe to open his mouth for dr melanie.  today was our twice yearly scheduled appointment. d-day had arrived.

let's preface all this by me describing our last visit to the dentist.  zane rocked it.  he was perfect.  zander, not so much.  since his first visit, zander has required prescribed relaxants to survive his dental adventures.  we've been feeding him "magic peanut butter" for a few years now, and it's taken careful calculations to get his doseage right.  the first time we tried the peanut butter, i assured him he would see fairies and butterflies, so he was afraid to relax because he didn't want to miss the show.  the kid not only faught through the valium, he also fought through the nitris.  it was a nightmare - screaming, lurching, kicking.  had he been in a hospital, he would have been strapped down and sent to a padded room.  it was completely awful. 

two visits ago, i had his dosage just perfect - 1 3/4 pills.  he was relaxed enough that he wasn't screaming, but lucid enough that he could walk and talk.  however, his reaction time was a bit delayed.  the hygenist told zander to bite down on the straw-sucker thing, and he looked at her, but never bit down.  so she just moved it around his mouth and sucked out the water manually.  then, about 2 minutes later, her command registered in his brain, and zander bit down.  the only problem with this was that there was no sucker-straw thing in his mouth - it was her finger.  she came up out of that chair so fast and furious.  literally.  furious.  i mean, i felt bad for her.  but, zander had no idea what he'd done.  he thought she told him to bite down.  needless to say, that visit probably got him a mark in his chart.  eventually, he's going to be like elaine from seinfeld trying to sneak into vets' office for oral care.

this visit, i was prepared.  we had our happy peanut butter ready to go, nintendos, ipods, angry birds qued up on the cell phone.  i was set.  and then, zander refused the magic peanut butter.  what?  don't you want to see fairies and butterflies?? oh please, son, take the peanut butter.  nope, he was having none of it.  so we went in clean and sober.  the hygenist (a new one) seemed slightly nervous when we told her.  she put the bib on him and timidly got her tools ready.  i'm not sure, but i think i saw her put thimbles on under her gloves.  as she was about to begin, zander looked straight at her and said, "i don't like the water part.  can you please not shoot the water in my mouth?"  he sounded so grown up.  she looked at him and said that was fine.  no water shooter.  and that was that.  zander was perfect for the entire appointment.  he sat there like a big boy, got his teeth cleaned, and he manually rinsed with a cup of water.  it was great.  i was so proud - and relieved. 

zaiden waiting for his turn

next up was zaiden, and i had no idea how he was going to react.  to my surprise, he did awesome too.  he opened his mouth wide, he didn't bite anybody, and he even took the flouride treatment like it was an everyday occurance.  it was glorious.  all of my boys did great, and i didn't have to sneak out the back door with my face covered.  we were able to walk through the lobby and even got to stop at the treasure box.  zander makes his own rules at the treasure box.  he figured that since he was super great, he should get 2 prizes.  i think the staff would have given him the whole box after this day.

as the boys were digging through the treasure, i was reminded how my sister and i used to love the treasure box at our dentist when we were little.  now, in my mind, this treasure box was full of gemstones, gold, silver - true treasure.  i remember that we would leave with something super cool (and no doubt, extremely valuable) and a toothbrush.  as we strode out the FRONT door, with heads held high, my boys carried their goodie bags of toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss, and their priceless treasure.  it was certainly a proud mommy moment that i hope to never forget.

i just can't wait to get on the road again

first, you should know that i love a good road trip.  i try to take several a year.  lucky for me, my boys like traveling too.  well, actually i give them no choice but to like it.  i remember an early roadtrip i took with my mom, my mamaw, and zane.  zane was about 11 or 12 months old.  we were on our way to chicago, and we decided to stop halfway for the night at a hotel.  it was about 11pm by the time we got unpacked and settled in to the room.  zane had been asleep for most of the trip, but the moment we layed him down in the bed, the child shot up to a sitting position with wild eyes.  he then slid off the bed and began running around the bed laughing and squeeling.  he couldn't walk by himself yet, so he was holding on to the beds and sort of hopping between the two beds.  it was a moment of pure delight for him.  he must have ran around for a good 20 minutes before he calmed down.  it was one of those fast moving moments that i hope to never forget.



fun times in the car



this past week, my mom and i packed up the boys again for a spring break road trip.  some families head to ski resorts, college kids head to beaches, but not i.  i packed my kids up for a good ol' road trip to ikea in texas.  ikea is one of my favorite stores and sadly we do not have one where i live.  however, this gives my mom and i an excellent excuse for a trip.  so we piled the kids into the car, and off we went. 

as i've gotten older, i've become a hotel snob.  my mom teases me about this, but i know secretly that she's happy to not "have" to stay in dumps anymore.  so, i have my standards when it comes to lodging, and this trip i chose us a really nice place with feather top beds, 9 pillows per bed, and a plenty of space.  the downside to these nicer hotels is that they have a lot of business people staying at them as well.  (this should have connected with me earlier as i was using my husband's rewards points for free nights.)  the boys love hotels.  they really don't care about a trip's destination as long as we are staying in a hotel (or a show-n-tell as zane used to call them when he was little).  on night two, we were attempting to get the boys settled in to their beds, and they were giggly and laughing and bouncing around - this is typical, so we hardly noticed.  and then the phone rang, and the boys' faces turned white.

zander had to bring every friend in his room

many years ago, when zane was probably 2, on our first trip to florida, we had our first encounter with "combey".  combey is the manager of every hotel, restaurant, target, etc in the world.  on this trip to florida, zane was running around like a wild man in the room making all kinds of noise, and we couldn't settle him down.  my stepdad then told zane that he should quiet down before the manager called and kicked us out.  zane ignored him, and he continued on with his fun.  after about 15 mintues of this, we heard a loud knock at the door.  (now, i am admitting nothing, but perhaps it might have been my stepdad pounding on the bathroom wall.)  zane's face went pale and he froze.  he then grabbed his lovie, ellie, and ran to hide under the bedskirt of the bed.  my stepdad calmly opened the door to the room and explained to combey that we would quiet down.  from that moment on, combey become a fixture in our world.  anytime we have a child acting up, we mention combey, and silence will fall over the room.  it's glorious.



at ikea - these are times i'm glad to have a strong boy to help



so, on this most recent trip, the phone rang, and the boys knew.  it was combey.  we were getting kicked out, forced to sleep in the car.  they leaped into their bed, grabbed ellie, ninnie (zander's blankie), and ghee (zaiden's blankie), and slid under the covers.  it was awesome.  they were quiet the rest of the night and fell alseep rather quickly after that call.  it did stink to have to be the one to answer the call from the real combey and explain that my kids were wound up, but at least it settled them down. 

traveling is in my blood i guess, and i hope i'm showing my kids the country as we make this little road trips.  it's nice for us to have to be trapped in a car together and talk (well, when the batteries on their games die at least), and i love being able to travel with my mom.  i am so grateful that i am able to take these trips.  i'm also grateful that i've never had to actually meet combey face to face.

zaiden and zander in the middle of an important game

nana reading our nightly story

zaiden is getting cozy with zane

how sweet is this

mamaw didn't even have room for her feet! she never complained though!